This post is part of a series of 31 Day to Cultivating Heart Connections with Your Child as part of the 31 Days of Five Minute Free Writes Challenge.
I knew the moment I saw his eyes shift downward—I had crushed his spirit with my harsh reaction to him waking the baby. It was an accident. In no way, shape, or form had he meant to create hardship for the baby or more work for me. And in all reality, he was so in love with his baby brother and had missed him during the two days the baby and I had been gone.
He did not intend to wake the baby with his whisper- albeit a very loud whisper. In spite of his innocent intentions, the baby stirred and rapidly became fully away.
But I crushed his spirit.
Instead of practicing self-control, patience, gentleness, oh the list could go on; I snapped.
The frustrated sigh and accompanying arm gestures were all it took for him to drop his eyes to the floor and hang his head as his drooping shoulders began to quiver with suppressed sobs.
It’s so easy to crush their spirits by:
- Raising our voices
- Criticizing their efforts
- Being distracted
- Comparing them to someone else
- Expecting them to behave as adults
“A joyful heart is good medicine, but a
crushed spirit dries up the bones.”
~Proverbs 17:22
But if we want to cultivate heart connections with our children, we must trade the spirit-crushing behaviors for joy-inducing ones:
- Responding in calmness
- Acknowledging their hard work
- Being fully present
- Loving them unconditionally
- Extending grace
When we avoid spirit crushing, we cultivate joyful hearts open for connection with us.
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