Two thousand one hundred fourteen. That is the number of days between the birth of my sweet baby girl and today—her first day of Kindergarten. Two thousand one hundred fourteen days to cuddle and share stories together, to nurture her body and soul, to guide her first steps, discipline her in love, and teach her truth. Two thousand one hundred fourteen days to learn from her, to watch her, to love her.
Two thousand one hundred fourteen twenty-four hour gifts.
But how did I use them? Did I treat them as a gift or a burden? Did I look at each day as a chance to build into the life of an eternal soul?
Unfortunately, as I sit here typing this, I must admit there were days I didn’t want to put in the emotional or physical work of intentional motherhood. There were days I lost my temper and raised my voice, days I lost myself in an endless cycle of scrolling the newsfeed, days I wished to end shortly after they began, days I didn’t want to be the mom. I knew the years would go by too quickly, but knowing I would miss those days and acting intentionally so as to live each day without regret were two very different things.
Fortunately, there were more days I did choose to intentionally build into my children. There were days we snuggled in the chair and read extra stories. There were days I played, days I let her “help” in the kitchen, days I disconnected from the online world to just be with her, days I listened as she told me ideas, days I answered two trillion questions.
As I stare down the final hours to the start of Kindergarten, my mind is going a hundred different directions.
I look back in wonder at how quickly the time has flown and how much my sweet little baby girl already knows. I look back and am amazed by how much she has learned without formal education. I look back in sadness over bits and pieces of the moments I missed while we were moving from place to place, while we were working through difficult times, while I was just too distracted.
I look forward to all she is going to learn this year and the many years that follow. I look forward to seeing her grow and mature into all God has for her. I look forward to how God is going to use her story as part of His Story.
Even while I am looking back and looking forward, I am looking at the now.
I am looking on with wonder at today and what treasure trove of memories will be made in this day that the Lord has made. I am marveling at the wonder that is my precious five and a half year old with all of her questions and ideas.
I am thanking God for this day—this twenty-four hour gift. A day of new beginnings with plenty of changes and, yet, a day of blessed sameness. We’ll rise and eat the daily oatmeal and fruit for breakfast. We’ll play outside. I’ll do some laundry. They will likely bicker.
So much will be the same even as we carve out a time for school, this very first day of school, in the midst of our day.
This first day of Kindergarten is not the end. It is just a new chapter in the life we share.
So today I am asking God for wisdom—wisdom to spend my days wisely and intentionally, wisdom to live out the rest of the days I am given with this precious girl of mine (and my boys too).
None of us are guaranteed tomorrow, but I plan to intentionally live each of the approximately four thousand six hundred twenty-nine days until she leave for college.
That is four thousand six hundred twenty-nine days I still have cuddle and share stories, to nurture her body and soul, to guide her steps, discipline her in love, and teach her truth. Four thousand six hundred twenty-nine days to learn from her, to watch her, to love her.
Four thousand six hundred twenty-nine twenty-four hour gifts.
Teach me to number my days that I may gain a heart of wisdom. -Psalm 90:12
Another great insight, Amy! Thanks for sharing!